Start Paying Attention

I am going to make a shift in this blog stuff (at least for a while). I am going to post for a while some of the lessons of life and ministry that God is teaching me that perhaps might be helpful to you. I'm going to try to put up something new each week.
I want to start today in learning to pay attention to people. I must confess to you that I found myself getting into tight spots as a pastor more often because I was not paying attention to people. I have this human thing about seeing myself and my stuff as more important and other people exist primarily to help me get my stuff done.
Several years ago I worked for a company whose Vice-President had issues managing stress. When he allowed himself to get stressed out, life was not fun. Fortunately he had learned over the years that when he sensed himself getting stressed out, he could spend the day watching people and it would unwind him. The unfortunate part was that he needed someone to hear him describe what he was seeing as he watched other people. I was the lucky guy. Actually, as boring as I thought this was at the time, God used it as a major turning point for my life. As we would sit on the streets, he would describe what he imagined the persons life to be like and to tell me what he saw that made him think in that way. I don't know if he was ever right, but it usually made sense as he would spot what they were carrying, how they walked, the way they looked around etc.
What God was teaching me was to pay attention to people. Like many of you I am sure, we had the classes in college and Seminary that taught us about attentive listening and caring skills. But have you noticed how easily the pursuit of my interests swallows up all those lessons on paying attention to people?
Here are some guides that I have tried to put in place that may be helpful to you.
One, keep in my mind that everyone in the meeting is going to remember more about how I treated them than what it was I was wanting to get done.
Two, when you first enter a room, take a quick scan and identify who is in the room and what personality characteristics are their primary ways of communicating. (If I take the time to do this, it helps me focus towards their personality and most often am better heard)
Three, remember that under stress people will return to their most natural instincts(I can predict how they will respond to something if I watch their body language and temperament as the meeting moves forward)
Four, my primary task is to lead people, not lead meetings.
Five, remember the vote of the hand is far less important than the vote of the body (people will tell you with their body and their indirect communication what the raising of their hands really means)
Six, it is not my duty to please everyone, but it is my duty open the door to following to everyone.
Seven, people tend to respond deeply and passionately when they figure out someone is paying attention to them and that's when the joy gets real.
And might I suggest the simple practice of looking into someones eyes when you are talking with them until they look back into yours. That alone has opened more conversations for me about Jesus than any other tool.
If you need some scriptural model for this, the life of Jesus works pretty well. Read through the Gospels and make a note of the number of things Jesus spotted in peoples lives that turned the conversation heavenward.

Did you see the flies?

Back several weeks ago when the weather was much colder in our area, I was part of a Spiritual Retreat in which we were invited to spend some time walking a path outside. After a couple of hours we all shared with each other what we had experienced.
I shared that I had stopped by a water feature and watched some flies coming and going. One of the participants remarked, "I was amazed that you saw the flies".
On my way home later that day, I was trying to think back over why it would have been noteworthy that I noticed the flies. In thinking that through, I realized something very helpful to me about spending time with God, quietly and alone. Up to that point I had not paid attention to the level that quiet time in God's presence raises your level of awareness. It may not sound so earth shaking that you start noticing flies to you, but it does to me. I went far too long in my life focused on activity and doing and very little noticing.
Those meetings with people whose names I can't remember for causes long since forgotten about have faded into a blurr. And that is really about all I recall, is a blurr. But the quiet times with God that make me start paying attention to the plant that is growing in an unexpected place, the arrival of the early flies, is also making me much more aware of what is happening in the lives of the people that walk right in front of me each and every day.
Somehow, I really think that it matters more to God what I notice than what I know. Paying attention is an act of love and a move away from the self focus that consumes many of us. I have not yet found anything that raises the level of "noticing" than presence with God.