I love you so you can better love me

First to my wife and then to everyone else to whom I have said, "I love you." I apologize. I apologize becuase the part you did not hear me say was "so you can better love me." Sure there was some genuineness of love there, but it has not been pure and undefiled. It has always carried that secret part I didn't tell tell. Am I saying that I have now mastered the art and no longer love for selfish reasons? Wish it were so, but it is actually the truth that more than ever in my life I am aware of it now. Though I still catch myself doing it, it pains me now when I do so.
I am not sure but I am afraid that the next stop God has for me is to realize that I am giving out selfish love to my enemies and those I do not yet know because somehow God will like me better if I do. Maybe He will let me get by with that, because as hard a time as I am having doing so for people I already like, I don't know about those who don't like me.
I'm sort of grateful that the Holy Spirit has awakened me to this area of concern in my life, but it sure is tough to deal with, how about you?